The Consequences of Adulery

What is the definition of adultery?

Adultery means sexual intercourse between two people, one or both of whom is married to somebody else. When two people are having an affair, both parties involved are committing adultery, even if one is unmarried and unaware of the marital status of the other person.

How common is adultery?

Various surveys conducted in Western countries have suggested that at least 40 per cent of married people have had adulterous sex. There seems to be general agreement that it's more common for husbands to stray than wives – although wives are by no means innocent.

Types of adultery:

·         Paid for sex – having sex with a prostitute

·         One-night stands

·         Swinging – marriage partners swopping

·         Orgies, threesomes, ectr

·         Serious love affairs – falling in love with someone outside your marriage

Human beings will often convince themselves that what they are doing really doesn't matter, or doesn't mean anything, or has done no one any harm. Well you are WRONG!

Effects:

Adultery has painful consequences, affecting the adulterer physically, emotionally and spiritually. However it is not only the adulterer that gets affected, but his/her partner, the children, family and friends. 

·         Your relationship with God would suffer. Adultery is one of the Ten Commandments in the Bible. The Bible makes it clear that adultery will not go unpunished – “that he will surely die”. In the Old Testament times, it literally meant to be killed. Today you will still die, but it won be physically, but spiritually. You will inherit eternal death, unless you make right with God.

·         Adultery causes loss of trust and intimacy in a marriage, often leading to divorce.

·         Your family’s reputation will suffer – it is almost always a very humiliating experience.

·         The damage done to the spouse – emotionally and sometimes physically. Your partner will have a long and painful road to recovery, often having to receive counselling. In rare instances it can lead to violence – murder and physical abuse due to jealousy.

·         Your children would be broken, hurt, deeply disappointed and bewildered. In case of divorce it will have long-term consequences for the children. Your relationship with your children will suffer due to the fact that you aren’t a “full time father/mother” anymore, demands from your mistress/lover, emotional issues the children have to deal with ea. anger, conflict between divorced parents. Children of divorcees also are twice as likely to have problems as adults with mental illness, substance abuse, and failed relationships. 

·         The disappointment of friends and family in you as a husband/wife and father/mother.

·         The loss of your integrity.

·         Severe guilt, fear, anxiety, shame

·         Losing your self-esteem/ self-worth. Often adultery happens, because a person is looking for self-worth, and he/she might find” it” for a while in the fantasy heshe involved themselves in, but when the reality of what he/she did eventually hits him/her, he/she ends up losing what little self-worth and often self-respect he/she had left, due to quilt and shame.

·         Adultery can also lead to feelings of guilt, insecurity and jealousy in the mistress/lover. In some cases, this "third person" may encourage conflict and divorce (either openly or subtly), between the adulterer and his spouse, by way of negative reinforcement of the adulterer’s reasons for starting the affair in the first place. If the cheating spouse has hinted at divorce in order to continue the affair, the mistress/lover may also feel betrayed if that does not happen.

·         Work problems (particularly if it was after an office party)

·         Health problems due to stress/guilt.

·         If adultery leads to divorce, it carries financial burdens. Legal fees, higher living expenses. Often the divorced spouse simply cannot afford medical aid cover or a pension fund/ life cover.

 

·         Pregnancy.

·         Risk of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or other infections, not only for the adulterer, but also for the unsuspecting spouse.

·         Emotionally Bondage – soul ties get formed which could have serious spiritually consequences for the adulterer and also for other people he later become involved with sexually. An adulterer can literally be controlled by his/her, mistress/lover through ungodly soul ties.

·         Satan would be thrilled at your failure. He would make sure your shame/guilt never depart, which will eventually turn to anger → bitterness, un-forgiveness → causing you to turn from God → loss of hope/ depression → spiritually or even physical death (suicide).

·        This same sin might be visited upon your family for four generations. Your legacy could be leaving a Generational Curse for your children and their children to deal with. Often they will not even be aware of the curse that has been brought upon them by what you have done and because they only “know that infidelity has always been part of their family history”, they will not know how to get rid of it, thus leaving the legacy to continue, destroying life’s from one generation to the next. So in the end you will not only have destroyed your own life and the lives of your family, but you have doomed the rest of your generation to a possible spiritual death.

As a survivor of adultery myself, I can’t even begin to tell you of the devastation and hurt that is the result of this kind of betrayal. So many people get affected by this ONE act of selfishness.

Not only is it a selfish act, but in my opinion one of the cruelest things one person can do to another person. A spouse who is caught up in adultery is living only for him/herself. They are living a life of fantasy and deception, ignoring the very real consequences of infidelity. Infidelity will absolutely destroy your life and marriage. Looking at the very real spiritually consequences as well and what it can do to your soul, it is JUST NOT WORTH IT!

What does the Bible say about adultery?

Exodus 20:14/ Deuteronomy 5:18/ Matthew 5:27/ Matthew 19:18/ Mark 10:19/ Luke 18:20/ Roman 2:22/ Roman 13:9/ James 2:11 "You shall not commit adultery."

Deuteronomy 22:22  “If a man is found lying with another man's wife, they shall both die, the man who lay with the woman and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel”.

Leviticus 20:10 “The man who commits adultery with another’s wife, even his neighbor’s wife,  the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death."

Proverbs 6:29  “So he who cohabits with his neighbor’s wife (will be tortured with evil consequences and just retribution); he who touches her shall not be innocent or go unpunished.

Proverbs 6:32 "But whoever commits adultery with a woman, lacks heart and understanding (moral principle and prudence); he who does it is destroying his own life.

Proverbs 27:8 “Like a bird that wanders from her nest, so is a man that strays from his home.

Mark 10:11 “And He said to them, whoever dismisses (repudiates and divorce) his wife and marries another commits adultery against her.

In conclusion: I think it is safe to say that a person thinking of/or committing the sin of adultery is a FOOL. Not only will he/she destroy their marriage, but they will destroy themselves.

If you are busy committing adultery, make the choice and stop it NOW. Break the soul ties that keep you in bondage.

 How to break a soul tie?

(Call the name of the person and say), I cut my soul tie with you today, in the Name of Jesus Christ. I am no longer yours and I can live without you. You will no longer have me. I separate myself from you and give my soul to Jesus who will join me to another man/woman in a holy marriage for His glory. I break the covenant between you and me and renounce you out of my soul. Between you and me there is no covenant.

It is always better if you have a church leader to make sure all your ties are broken, so if at all possible get someone to sit with you when you do break soul ties.

Make the decision today to stay true to your marriage vows and if you have already betrayed them, ask God for forgiveness and ask Him to renew you marriage and your relationship with your spouse. God never intended for people to sleep around. Marriage is SACRED and you should do everything in your power to keep it sacred.