It’s a very clear that God hates
divorces. Malachi 2:16 “For the Lord the God of Israel says: I hate divorce and
marital separation and him who covers his garment (his wife) with violence”.
Not only does He hate divorce, it also removes you from fellowship with God.
Malachi 2:13 “And
this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears (shed
by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives)
and with (your own) weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard
your offering any more or accept it with favour at your hand.”
Why does God hate divorce? Malachi
2:14 “Yet you
ask why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness (to the covenant made
at your marriage) between you and the wife of your youth.” When two
people (Christian and non-Christian alike) get married, they don’t only get
married on paper (legally), but also in front of God. God has made man and
woman one, joined inseparably to his wife, they shall be one flesh. Matt 19:4-6
“What
therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate).”
A divorce ends the legal aspect of marriage, but it does not free you from the covenant
between you and God. Malachi 2:14 Divorce does not end the aspect of marriage
that God joined together.
Consider the following scriptures:
"Whosoever
dismisses (repudiates and
divorces) his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her. And
if a woman dismisses (repudiates and divorces) her husband and marries another,
she commits adultery." (Mark. 10:11-12) Also read Matt
5:32, Matt 19:9, Luke 16:18, Matt 5:28
So what does this mean?
Jesus makes it clear that divorce is not adultery; it is a serious act of defilement
against the spirit and every other aspect of the marriage. Adultery happens after remarriage, because
although divorce sets them free legally, God did not set them free. The sin of
adultery can only occur if one or both of the
persons involved is married. If neither of the persons is married the
term adultery cannot be used. When Jesus said that "whosoever shall marry
her that is divorced commits adultery", He was stating that when a man
marries a divorced woman he is living with another
man's wife and therefore is guilty of adultery. Divorce does not make a
man or a woman single again. Divorce does not
end a person's first marriage. That is why a person commits
adultery when they marry and live with a divorced person. Adultery could not
occur in remarriage if divorce ended the first marriage. Adultery can only
occur in remarriage because the divorced spouse is
still married to their first marriage partner in Jesus' judgment. (Jesus
is the Judge we will stand before one day and it is important that we
understand how He feels about divorce and remarriage.)
God states that the sexual
intercourse of a divorced and remarried couple is adultery. Therefore each time
they have sexual intercourse they commit an act of
adultery. As they continue to have sexual relations and there is no
repentance, it becomes a state of adultery. Therefore, adultery in remarriage
is both an act each time it occurs, and a continuing state of sinning. The
action of remarriage is not adultery it is the sexual act that is adultery. One
is guilty of sin before God until they have repented of the sin and stopped the
sin. One cannot repent of the "act"
adultery but continue in it and expect God to ignore the fact that they
are continuing to commit adultery.
Read what one of the authors further said re divorce:
The interesting illustration of
God and Israel's divorce
In
Jeremiah 3 God states that He gave Israel a certificate of divorce. However at
no point did that annul or end the covenant that He had made with the ten
northern tribes of Israel even though Israel had married other gods. Jeremiah
3:1 says "They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and
become another man's, shall he return unto her again? shall not that land be
greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return
again to me, saith the LORD." In spite of the command by Moses in Deut.
24:1-4 that a divorced woman could not return to her first husband, in Jer. 3:1
God says to Israel, "Yet return again to me."
God
infers that the instruction given in Deut. 24:1-4 on divorce and remarriage is
not a command that He gave to Moses. God says in Jer. 3:1 "They say"
not "I said" in referring to Deut. 24:1-4. He then goes on to ignore
the command that a divorced woman may not return to her first husband by saying
"yet return again to me."
Jesus
also implied that divorce and remarriage in Deut. 24:1-4 was something that
Moses permitted because the people demanded it, but it was not a permission
that God gave. Jesus said that from the beginning it was not so. In Matt. 19:8
Jesus said, " Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to
put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so." Jesus at no
point indicated that Deut. 24:1-4 was a command that God gave to Moses.
Hardness of heart is refusing to believe what God has said and is sin. Jesus
could not endorse the excuse of hardness of heart as justification to do the
opposite of what God had said.
In
addition we see that divorce and remarriage did not end God's marriage covenant
with Israel. In Jer. 3:1-8 God says: " They say, If a man put away his
wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return unto her
again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? but thou hast played the harlot
with many lovers; yet return again to me, saith the LORD. 2 Lift up thine eyes
unto the high places, and see where thou hast not been lien with. In the ways
hast thou sat for them, as the Arabian in the wilderness; and thou hast
polluted the land with thy whoredoms and with thy wickedness. 3 Therefore the
showers have been withholden, and there hath been no latter rain; and thou
hadst a whore's forehead, thou refusedst to be ashamed. 4 Wilt thou not from
this time cry unto me, My father, thou art the guide of my youth? 5 Will he
reserve his anger for ever? will he keep it to the end? Behold, thou hast spoken
and done evil things as thou couldest. 6 The LORD said also unto me in the days
of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she
is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath
played the harlot. 7 And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou
unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8 And I
saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I
had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister
Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also."
God asks
Israel to return. He says in v. 14 "For I am married unto you" (even
after divorce and remarriage!) Jer. 3:12-14 "Go and proclaim these words
toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and
I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the
LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever. 13 Only acknowledge thine iniquity,
that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy
ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice,
saith the LORD. 14 Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am
married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I
will bring you to Zion:"
Ezekiel
was younger than Jeremiah. Ezekiel wrote from captivity in Babylon after
Israel's divorce. He testifies that God's covenant with Israel was not ended by
divorce and remarriage. Ez. 20:40-44 "For in mine holy mountain, in the
mountain of the height of Israel, saith the Lord GOD, there shall all the house
of Israel, all of them in the land, serve me: there will I accept them, and
there will I require your offerings, and the first fruits of your oblations,
with all your holy things. 41 I will accept you with your sweet savour, when I
bring you out from the people, and gather you out of the countries wherein ye
have been scattered; and I will be sanctified in you before the heathen. 42 And
ye shall know that I am the LORD, when I shall bring you into the land of
Israel, into the country for the which I lifted up mine hand to give it to your
fathers. 43 And there shall ye remember your ways, and all your doings, wherein
ye have been defiled; and ye shall lothe yourselves in your own sight for all
your evils that ye have committed. 44 And ye shall know that I am the LORD,
when I have wrought with you for my name's sake, not according to your wicked
ways, nor according to your corrupt doings, O ye house of Israel, saith the
Lord GOD."
What is clarified about divorce and remarriage by the example of God and
Israel's divorce? - Neither
divorce nor remarriage ends the first marriage. God said to Israel after He
had given her a certificate of divorce, "For I am married to
you" (Jer. 3:14) Therefore, in remarriage adultery occurs as if there
had been no divorce.
- God indicates, and Jesus
confirms, that Moses' command allowing divorce and remarriage and
prohibiting the returning to the first spouse after remarriage was not a
command that God gave to Moses. It was something that Moses permitted
because of the hardness of people's hearts,
and is not one we are to follow, nor can we use it to justify divorce and
remarriage. It was never God's will from the beginning. Matt. 19:8
"He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts
suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not
so."
- God's desire is that the first marriage partners leave all other marriage
partners, return, and be reconciled to each other. God said,
"Yet return to me" (Jer. 3:1)
So when can you remarry then?
God also says, "So then
if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be
called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so
that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man." Romans
7:3. Also read Mark 12:24-25, 1 Cor 7:39
According to the scripture you
can only remarry after your partner of your first marriage dies.
Isn’t that a bit unfair? What, as
in my case where I had no choice in the matter and my adulterous spouse had no
interest in saving the marriage, am I to do?
There are two "exception
clauses" on divorce in Matthew. Matt. 5:32 states: "But I say unto you, That whosoever
shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to
commit adultery: and whosoever shall
marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Almost all the authors stated
that this scripture gives the innocent partner in the case of adultery the
right to remarry. Great I thought I can remarry without committing adultery,
until I read what this one author said.
Sounds straight forward, but then
the one author put it like this.
If a man's
wife committed adultery, how would her adultery keep him from committing
adultery if he divorced her and remarried? Or to ask the question another way, is there any teaching or example in the Bible that would
indicate that adultery by one marriage partner ends their marriage and makes
them single again in God's eyes?
According to the Bible (Old and
New Testament) the adulterers must be put to death. Deut 22:22 “If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both
the man who slept with her and the woman must die.”
Also read: Lev 20:10, Lev 21:9,
Prov 6:32, Deut 25:11-12 (adultery causes death)
As shown above the following
scriptures states what Jesus said about adultery – Matt 5:32 "But I say unto you, That
whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth
her to commit adultery: and whosoever
shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Also read: Matt 19:9, Mark
10:11-12, Luke 16:18.
Now you can say yes but that was in
the Old Testament and people were under the Law of Moses. Please see what Jesus
said about the Law of Moses in Matt 5:17-18 “17Do not think that I have come to do away with (or)
undo the Law of the Prophets;…..18For truly I tell you, until the sky and earth
pass away (and) perish, not one smallest letter nor one little hook will pass
from the Law until all things are accomplished.” Also read Matt 23:1-3
To sum it up:
·
According to the OT an adulterer
must be put to death.
·
According to the NT you commit
adultery when you divorce and remarry.
·
According to the NT adultery is grounds
for divorce, BUT
·
Nowhere, in the Bible does it say
that divorce ends the covenant that was made – on the contrary if you compare
marriage to the marriage of God and the Israelites it shows that even though
God divorced them, He still considered the covenant He made with them binding.
·
According to the Old and New Testament
the only reason an innocent partner where adultery is concerned can remarry is
because the adulterer would have been put to death there by freeing the
innocent partner from the Law.
·
According to 1 Cor 7:12 the Lord
says that if you divorce your partner you should stay unmarried or reconcile
with your partner.
Not exactly what I wanted to
hear!
Does this apply to non-Christians
as well?
It is clear that even
non-Christians are united by God in marriage. How do we know this?
1.
God is the Creator of all, every man was born of God. Joh.
1:1-3
2.
Jesus is King
of kings and Lord of lords. All authority and power belongs to Him. Rev
17:14, Rev 1:5
3.
Jesus is Judge
of all. Acts 17:30-31
4.
According to Gen 2:24 marriage is
a creation institution and not a Christian
institution. In other words it is a “man” who marries and not just the
Christian man.
5.
According to Rom 1:14-15 it if clear
that even the unbelievers know what is right and wrong. God’s wrath will be unleased against all ungodliness.
6.
The marriage of the unbeliever is
acknowledged in 1Cor.14
Therefore, we must conclude that
what goes for Christians in the eyes of God, goes for non-Christians as well,
particularly if it is their first union.
So where does it leave me?
To be honest; a bit confused and
plenty angry. I would still like to speak to some Christians friends about the “exception
clauses”, but truthfully I could not find any holes in the author’s
interpretation of the scripture. So in the end I will probably have to make
peace with the fact that if I want to obey God’s Word, I will have to stay
single for the rest of my life. What makes me so angry is the fact that my ex
has no idea just how much his infidelity will probably cost me on this earth.
At the same time he has no idea/refuse to acknowledge just how much his
infidelity will cost him in the afterlife. If I have to choose between eternal
life and remarriage, there really is no choice.
1 Cor 6:9-10 does say “Or do you
not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not
be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor
men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor
revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God”. 
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