FAITHFULNESS

 

September 27 it will be exactly 3 years since my divorce. Looking back now I cannot belief I made it. If you had told me 3 years ago that my divorce will turn my life into something so positive and good I would have told you to get loss because you don't know what you are talking about. I can still remember the excruciating pain and betrayal I felt after I found out about my ex's affair. The days after and the months following, seeing any chance of us reconciling disappearing, was in one word awful. Then after I sort of managed to pull myself together again I had to deal with my children's pain and loss. The anger and bitterness I felt was at times all consuming. It was the worse time of my life. So yes I would have told you to mind your own business, but probably in much stronger terms.

Luckily I had help. Beautiful friends, the best family a person can ask for and God. God send help even before I asked. He provided even before I knew how to trust Him for it. He gave peace when I needed it, but was too emotionally drained to ask for it and most of all He gave me hope. In the beginning of my journey with God I heard a often, how faithful God is and boy did I come to know just HOW faithful. Every trial I had to face confirmed His faithfulness.

Just this morning I thought for just a second "How am I going to make it through this month?", but in the next second I remembered who my Source is and the way it made me feel just stunned me again. I cannot describe the sense of peace I felt at that moment. I did not only feel peace at that moment but awe and wonder at the awesomeness of God. It blows my mind and will probably always blow my mind.

I have been praying a lot for my son to develop a passion for God's Word. He wanted to have a relationship with God but at the same time he thought it would take all the fun out of life. He didn't yet realise that having a relationship with God only intensifies the fun in life. So we went to this service where our pastor talked about why bad things happen to us. Something happened in that service, because when we got back he went for his bible. I was stunned to put it mildly. The next day I bought him an easier to understand bible and his been reading it every chance he gets. Already God is showing His faithfulness to him. 

Wow it is wonderful to see how God is starting to show Himself to my son and all he had to do was look for God. He already gave his heart to God but he didn't want to give his all to God. I am so excited because I see myself in him 3 years ago. Already in small little things he is starting to experience God's presence. Already on two occasions he asked God's advice and got his answer in a way that proofed to him that God does here his prayers. For the first time he heard God and God confirmed what he heard. Already I am starting to see a subtle change in his behaviour. Small little things for now but massive for his future. He's starting to get God. Starting to enjoy getting to know God and all because God is faithful. Louis Giglio talks about an awakening starting to happen when we get to know God and that is what I am seeing in him. A boy who was asleep and is now starting to wake up to God and His Word.

I asked and God gave. Just this week I received a comment from a lady, going through the hurt of betrayal, who asked God to give her peace and He gave it to her. I can go on and on telling you about God's faithfulness; not only in my life but in all the people I know who trust in God to supply in their needs. The word abundance comes to mind. People who often have nothing and yet have everything. It just makes me realise that no matter how bad things look, God is always in control and He has a plan. He knows what he wants to draw on your canvas and He knows exactly where He wants you on that canvas. All we have to do is to seek Him. He promises that when you seek Him, He will show Himself to you. What a privilege it had been and still is to get to know God and invite Him into my home, my life and the lives of my family. Every day I get up and face life knowing that through Jesus everything is possible, I expect His miracles, small and big and I have found a joy in life that surpasses anything I have ever felt. I have come home!