I started asking questions like: Why am I not going anywhere? What is it
that's holding me back? I read numerous books; watch so many DVD’s, started
reading my Bible, discussed life with good friends and started asking God for
answers to my questions. Once again God showed His perfect timing and
faithfulness.
First through various means He helped me to understand who I am to Him.
As a child I was very shy and did not have too much confidence in myself.
Coming out of a divorce, I had no confidence at all in myself. Suddenly I was
faced with all kinds of very scary situations. I had to do everything and I had
to do it all alone. I learnt that I was beautiful and valuable to God, that I
was loved and not alone, that I do not have to live in fear and that I was
looked after in every possible way. I learnt what my identity is in God. I am a
daughter of the King of all kings and therefore I stand in line to inherit all
that is His.
I found peace, but I still had no directions. It still felt like there
was more to my life. I just didn't know what. I learnt that I was made for a
purpose, but what was that purpose? A while back I read a book Miles Munroe
wrote about the purpose of women and I started to understand why I was the way
I was. I started to understand what it meant to submit as a women and why it is
so important to submit. I realised that to submit did not make me vulnerable or
weak. It allows the power God gave me as a woman to come out. It allows me to fulfil
the role I was made for by God. It doesn't make me weak, it makes me stronger.
The world has twisted what was meant by God as a helper to all men into
something that degrades and humiliates women all over the world. We were told
that we are the weaker sex and therefore we were entitled to less, but God made
men and women equal and together unstoppable. Why do you think satan targets
our marriages? He knows that if he can destroy the godly relationship between
men and women he can destroy the power God gave men and women to rule on earth
and therefore to rule over satan.
Finally after 3 years I understood myself as a woman. Scary when you
realise I am almost 50 years old. Now what to do with myself was my next
question. I can feel it in myself that there is more to life than just getting
up every morning and trying to survive. Again I read a book written by Miles
Munroe about our potential and once again a little part of my scrambled brain
became unscrambled. I have to tell you the more I dig the clearer things
become. I really can start to see why the bible says that what is wise to the
world is foolishness to God and vice versa. For the first time in my life I
feel like I got to the starting point. Before I was running around like a
deranged person not knowing where I am and where I should be.
I came to the conclusion that first and foremost I am a mother, made to
nourish and love my children and for that matter all children. The world told
me I should be a business woman and a provider, but God said I am a helper and
nourisher. Second the world told me to take, but God said to give. If God tells
you to do/give something He will also give you the ability to fulfil it.
Thirdly the world told me to advocate human rights, but God told me to advocate
the good news about the gospel.
Jesus came to earth to minister and to serve. I often felt guilty
because I never felt comfortable to go out and talk to people about God. So
many people don't want to listen when you talk about God. I realised that even
if they don't want to listen they will look. People will look at you and what
they see will make an impact. If they like what they see they will want to know
more about what they see. If I learnt anything it is that people who have the
Holy Spirit in them are different. They look different and they respond
different to life and its challenges. They have a peace and freedom about them
that defies the problems they experience in their everyday life. I wanted what
I saw in them and eventually I started asking about God. It gave someone the
opportunity to start talking to me about God. If people can see God's
reflection in me they will come to me and start to ask about God and then God
will give me all I need to tell them about the awesome God I serve. The more I
spoke about God and experienced Him in my life the easier it became to talk
about Him to others.
So for now I know that I want to show God to the world through the
things I do and the person I am. I know that I want to make a difference in the
lives of the people I come into contact with, my children, family, friends and acquaintances.
I know that I want to teach my children their full potential in God and not
what the world tells them their potential are. I want them to understand who
they are in God and what that means. I want to help them determine what their purpose
is by teaching them to understand who their Source is. I want my children to be
spirit people and not soul people. I want them to be led by their spirit
attached to the Spirit of God and not to be led by their senses and
intellect.
I also know that I want to serve people and that it means I will have to
put my dreams on paper and work out a plan of how to reach it and then get off
my butt and do it. I know that whatever God has put in my heart and thoughts, I
can achieve through faith and determination. I also know now that God will only
give me what I want bad enough to give my life for. I also know that the earth
and all that is on it was meant to be a resource and not to become a god and
that my potential was meant to be shared. I understand know that life really is
not about the material things but truly about how much of God you can allow in
yourself. When you seek the things of God He really does give you the rest.
God gave as all the same potential that is in Him, because He made as
according to His likeness, but He also gave us certain conditions to live by.
He is the One that made us and He is the one that gave us our potential. He is
also the only One that can fix us when we break. Just like a TV cannot work
without a power supply we cannot work without Christ in us. We can try but we
will end up broken every single time. The world is full of broken people who
refuse to read the manual that came with humankind; instead they try the
shortcut only to come up short every single time.
Unless you understand what the purpose is of an object you will never
know the potential of that object and the potential of an object gets determined
by its maker. Do you know your full potential? Do you know who your Maker is?
Instead of being a person whose full potential goes with him to his grave the
day he dies, why you don’t find out exactly what your purpose are and what you
can achieve by reading your manual and getting to know your Maker. I know that
for the first time I have a clue as to why I am here. I know that I have just
begun to understand my full potential and I know I still have a long way to go
before I will start to reach that potential, but at least I have a starting
point now. I cannot wait to see what God has planned for me. God really does
reveal Himself to those who earnestly seek Him.
When you start to see and understand who God is, life really starts to
make sense and not in the way the world tells us. God's way really is the
perfect and only way, but He is a gentleman. You need to choose to read the
manual and to follow its instructions before you will be able to operate in the
way that you were intended to operate. Only then you can become all you were
meant to be.
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