The Grace of God - Licence to sin???

I have been accused of a lot of things in my life and lately of judging peoples spirituality and being a Pharisees. These are people that call themselves Christians. People that think you can call yourself a Christian because you go to church every Sunday and people call them “good”. Sure enough I suppose you can call yourself a Christian if you do those things. The sad thing about it, is that they really do not have a clue as to what it means to have a relationship with God. They are quick to use the phrase “God’s grace” to justify just about anything they do. They are quick to excuse their sins with “God loves everybody equally”.

What exactly does God’s grace mean? It means that despite who and what we are and what we have done, we have been excused.

Ephesian 2:8 For it is by free grace (God’s unmerited favour) that you are saved (delivered from judgement {and} made partakers of Christ’s salvation) through [your] faith. ……….It came not through yourselves [of your own doing, it came not through your on striving], but it is the gift of God.

The day Jesus sacrificed His life on the cross we were excused. He paid the ultimate price so that we can go free. So then how can people come and demean what Jesus did, by using that same grace as a licence to sin. As an excuse to keep on sinning thinking that God is ok with it. God’s grace isn’t there to give us a licence to sin, but rather to free us from sin.

Matthew 1:21 …….for he will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God].

Jesus makes it very clear that when you give your heart to God, you should make a 180degrees turn and walk away from your sin. You are not condemned anymore, but there is a condition. To sin no more.

John 8:10-11 When Jesus raised Himself up, He said to her, woman where are your accusers? Has no man condemned you? 11She answered, No one, Lord! And Jesus said, I do not condemn you either. Go on your way and FROM NOW ON SIN NO MORE.

Acts 2:38 And Peter answered them, Repent (change your views and purpose to accept the will of God in your inner selves instead of rejecting it) and be baptised every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of {and} release from your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

2 Timothy 2:19 ………..Let everyone who names [himself by] the name of the Lord give up all iniquity {and} stand aloof from it.

Is this not clear enough? You cannot accept God’s grace and continue in your old ways. You cannot love two masters at the same time. When you really accept God in your life and get to know His Will, you cannot BUT change. Jesus in you makes you want to obey Him. If you do not obey God, you obey Satan. It is as simple as that.

Psalms 40:8 I delight to do Your will, O my God; yes Your law is within my heart.

Matthew 6:21/24 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. 24 No one can serve two masters, ……… You cannot serve God and mammon………

So now I ask again, are these people then really Christians in the true sense of the word, or are they fake Christians? These are people that pose as Christians because it suites their personal agenda. They quote scriptures out of context to justify their sin. Jesus made it clear that your works will not get you into heaven.

Ephesian 6:11 Put on God’s whole armor that you may be able successfully to stand up against the strategies and deceits of the devil.

How can you do that when you give Satan the legal right to enter your life through the sins you continue to commit. No we are not perfect, but do you really think God won’t know when you are not sincere in your repentance?

Ephesians 5:10 And try to learn what is pleasing to the Lord [let your lives be constant proof of what is most acceptable to Him].

Ephesians 5:5-6 For be sure of this: that no person practising sexual vice or impurity in thought or in life, or one who covetous [who has lustful desire for the property of others and is greedy for gain]—for he [in effect] is an idolater—has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and of God. 6Let no one delude {and} deceive you with empty excuses {and} groundless arguments [for these sins], for through these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of rebellion {and} disobedience.

1 Peter 2:24 He personally bore our sins in His [own] body on the tree [as on an altar and offered Himself on it], that we might die (cease to exist) to sin and live to righteousness.

2Corinthians 7:1…………Let us cleanse ourselves from everything that contaminates {and} defiles body and spirit, and bring [our] consecration to completeness in the [reverential] fear of God.

Rom 14:17 [After all] the kingdom of God is not a matter of [getting the] food and drink [one likes], but instead it is righteousness (that state which makes a person acceptable to God) and [heart] peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

I know there are a lot of Christians who are living in bondage. In my own life there are still chains that I have to break. Every day I get a little closer to being completely free from these chains, because I go out and seek the answers and you know, God is so faithful that I get the answers to every question and problem I have. I have chosen to live in obedience to His will. I’m not perfect but I am a lot better than what I used to be and every day I get a little closer to that perfection/righteousness a true Christian should strive after. Someone who is really interested in having a relationship with God, will sacrifice the works of the world in order to live righteously in front of God. You have no excuse for not doing it, because God promises you to be right next to you every step of the way, sometimes going as far as to carry you. When you use God’s grace as an excuse to continue living in sin, God will say to you “Go away I do not know you”

Matthew 6:33 But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right) ……..

Matthew 7 has been quoted to me by someone that has not even begun to take the beam of timber out of their own eye. They use the scripture to excuse the fact that they continue to live in obedience to their own personal and selfish needs, instead of turning away from their sin and living in obedience to God’s will.

Matthew 7:15-16 Beware of false prophets, who come to you dressed as sheep, but inside they are devouring wolves. 16You will recognise them by their fruits. Do people pick grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles?

Matthew 7: 23 And then I will say to them openly (publicly), I never knew you; depart from Me, you who act wickedly [disregarding My commands].

Be warned people; do not think you can use the Grace of God as a licence to sin. You are making a mockery of the incredible sacrifice Jesus made for us.

My Authority in God.

Where ever I go these days I get confronted with the idea of your authority in God. A concept that was completely new to me until about 9 months ago. I first read about it in books Neil T Anderson wrote. Then I saw it on TV and on DVD’s I watched and at the moment my church is busy with a series about exactly that. Hard to ignore when you are being confronted with it the whole time.

So what does it mean? In the Bible you read about His Kingdom a lot.

Daniel 2:44 And in the days of these kings shall the God of heaven set up a kingdom which shall never be destroyed.

Matthew 3:2 And saying, Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.

Luke 4:43 But He said to them, I must preach the good news (The Gospel) of the kingdom of God……., for I was sent for this purpose.

According to Tiaan Geldenhuys people have seen the word kingdom as the same as heaven. In other words when we read about the kingdom of God we assumed that He was talking about heaven.  In Greek the word kingdom translate to “basileia” which means “rule” or “reign” or “have dominion”. Kingdom of the heavens (Greek= ouranos) = basileia of the ouranos = authority of the heavens.

In other words when Jesus speaks about the kingdom He did not mean a place, but His authority in God.

Revelations 5:10 And you have made them a kingdom and priest to our God, and they shall reign over the earth. (And you have made them an authority).

What does it mean to have authority on earth?

First you have to realise who you are in Jesus Christ. The day you accept Jesus as your personal Saviour, you must realised the exact implications of that.

Ephesians 1:3 May blessings be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ Who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realm! 4Even as he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless in His sight, above reproach, before Him in love. 5 For he foreordained us to be adopted as His own children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the purpose of His will. 7In Him we have redemption through His blood, the remission of our offences, in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favour. 11In Him we also were made heritage, we obtained an inheritance…………13 In Him you also who have heard the Word of Truth,…………….and have believed in and adhered to and relied on Him, were stamped with the seal of the long-promised Holy Spirit. 18 By having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints. 19And what is the immeasurable and unlimited surpassing greatness of His power in and for us who believe, as demonstrated in the working of His Mighty strength. 20 Which He exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly. 22 And He has put all things under His feet and has appointed Him the universal and supreme Head of the church.

 Isn’t this just such a powerful scripture? The whole of Ephesians tells us who we are in Christ. In all my life I have never been told who I am in Jesus Christ. Isn’t it sad that so many Christians will go to heaven never having known what power they had in Jesus Christ?
Who is the authority of God?

Jesus is the authority of God and when you accept Him as your Saviour He comes to live in you.

Galatians 2:20 ….it is no longer I who live, but Christ live in me.

1 John 4:4 …He Who lives in you is greater than he who is in the world

Luke 17:21……For behold the kingdom of God is within you [in your hearts] a {and} among you [surrounding you]

Who will have this authority of God?

John 3:5 Jesus answered, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, unless a man is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.

Every person who has accepted Jesus as their King and Saviour will have this power/authority in them. Does that mean you will be able to use this power?  Only people that have been filled with the Holy Spirit will be able to use this power. Does that mean if you don’t use the authority God has given you that you won’t go to heaven? No but it will mean that you will be a mud-ploddering-Christian for the rest of your life that will not live in victory while you are on earth. God still loves you and you will still go to heaven, but you will not have lived the life of victory God had planned for you. You have to be filled with the Holy Spirit and take that authority in Jesus Christ and make it your own.

Why?

Matthew 6:10 Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 13 ………..but deliver us from the evil one. (For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever).  

We need our authority in God to save us from the works of Satan. Jesus wants us to reign on earth and that is then also what he teaches us when He tells us how to pray. God also says that we have to go forth and make disciples of all the nations. Jesus has given us the instruction to go and preach the kingdom (authority/power) of God.

Matthew 28:19 Go then and make disciples of all the nations, baptising them into the name of the Father and Son and of the Holy Spirit

What must we do with this authority in God?

Matthew 10:7-8 And as you go, preach, saying, The Kingdom of heaven is at hand! 8Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons…….

Is it possible to raise the dead, cure the sick, ectr?

John 14:12 I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone stands steadfastly in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do,………..

What does that mean? That everybody who have received  and have been filled with the Holy Spirit will be able to do exactly what Jesus told us to do and what He Himself have done. Yes that means we should be able to raise people from the dead, cure the sick and drive out demons. We can’t do it because we have not accepted our authority in God. God said that He will give us the power to do all these things.

How do you get this power/authority of God?

Matthew 6:33 But seek first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.  
You have to seek and obey God first and that you can only do by reading and getting to know the Bible. You have to be in an intimate relationship with God. That means you have to spend time with God and get to know His voice. You start by finding out what God’s Word says and by starting to live according to His Word. Can we do all the things God wants from us? Can we be holy? Yes by the Grace of God He will make you holy, all He need is for you to be willing to be made holy.

When you give your heart to Jesus, He comes and lives in you.

Now you have the authority of God in you, but you still need to be filled with the Holy Spirit in order to use this authority/power of God.

John 20:22 And having said this, He breathed on them and said to them, Receive the Holy spirit!

Acts 19:1-2 While Apollos was in Corinth, Paul went through the upper inland districts and came down to Ephesus. There he found some disciples. 2And asked them, did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed [on Jesus as the Christ]? And they said no we have not even heard that there is a Holy Spirit.

Luke 24:49 And behold, I will send forth upon you what My Father has promised, but remain in Jerusalem the city until you are clothed with power from on high.

The disciples only started doing miracles after they were filled with the power of The Holy Spirit.

Acts 1:8 But you shall receive power (ability, efficiency and might) when the Holy Spirit, has come upon you, and you shall be my witnesses in Jerusalem and all Judea………..

How do you know you have been filled with The Holy Spirit?

Luke 11:13 ………how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy spirit to those who ask and continue to ask Him.

If you ask God, He will fill you with the Holy Spirit. Also once you have been filled with the Holy Spirit it will pour out of you. You won’t be able to stop yourself from talking about God. I know, because I have experienced it. You overflow with God. The day I was filled with the Holy Spirit was the best day of my life. I have never felt better. So often Satan comes and with a lie, takes our authority in Jesus Christ away from us. So many Christians have received that power, but because of a lie that Satan has told them, never used it to bind the works of Satan in their lives. I almost walked that same path, because I didn’t fully understood what power I had in Jesus. The more intimate my relationship with God becomes the more God reveals His secrets to me and the more I understand what the authority of God in me, means.

Ephesian 1:9 Making known to us the mystery (secret) of His will (of His plan, of His purpose).

I have decided I want to use the authority of God in my life to bind the works of Satan, so I tried it. I used it to get rid of evil spirits in my life and my children’s lives and it worked. Twice already I used it to heal myself. I am still a mustard seed, but the more I walked in the authority of God, the stronger I will get in God. I want to become a huge tree under which people and animals alike can find refuse from the evil in this world. I want to use the authority of God to make my life and my children’s lives more victorious and to help other people get to know the mighty God I serve. Won’t you also consider using the authority of God in your life, to bind the works of Satan and make earth a place of victory instead of a place of misery? If all the Christians stand together and use their authority in God, imagine what life on earth will be like. People all over the world will have to acknowledge the power of our God. How many people do you think will give their hearts to God when they see what it really means to be a Christian with authority?

NOTE: I was ready to publish this blog today, but then a miracle happened during the night that I have to share with you. On Tuesday I took the kids to kick the ball around a bit. After that I got them to play netball with me. A week ago I got the opportunity to start playing netball again and I was so excited that I just wanted to throw the ball around a bit. However I forgot that I am not a youngster anymore and with the first ball I had to defend I put my back out. After a while the pain was gone so we continued. That evening it came back with a vengeance.

 My hip was so sore that I literally did not sleep that night. I could not bend or straighten my leg without experiencing a sharp totally debilitating pain, I could not sit or stand for long and walking I could only do in a bend forward position whiles limping along. It was so bad that I decided to stay at home the next day.

Now I am a physiotherapist. I knew exactly what joint was out and how to fix it, but my muscles were in such a spasm that I could not get into the position I needed, to manipulate the joint. I tried medicine, heat, bed rest, massaging, but nothing worked. So eventually at round about 1h00 last night I got up to go warm the beanbag. Limping along I felt like crying. I spent the whole day yesterday writing this blog and while I was resting on a kitchen chair, I thought about what I wrote. I don’t really have the confidence yet to heal the sick, but I did heal my shoulder the other day, so I decided to try again. You see I tried the previous night but it didn’t work and as I was sitting there contemplating why it didn’t work I realised two things.

1. I have spent a lot of time with Jesus preparing for this blog and
2. The previous time my faith wasn’t there (as I was praying I was on my way to heat the beanbag and get another voltaren).

This time I decided to put my faith in God despite the fact that I could hardly move. So I prayed, got up and walked back to my bedroom. By the time I got to my bed, my limping was almost gone. I was sleeping with two pillows between my legs and on my left side because I just couldn’t lie on my right side, which is the side I prefer. I threw the pillows off and went to lie on my right side. The pain was gone. I sat up and tested it by straightening and bending my leg, which I could not do before and once again there were no pain. I sat there praising God and afterwards I went to sleep until the alarm clock woke me.

Some people will say that it was luck or the meds kicking in, but I know I did nothing to fix my back. Before I sat down on that chair, that joint was still out and my muscles were still in a spasm. From a medical point of view it was impossible for my back to go back in, in the time it took me to pray and get up. Sometimes you might twist accidentally in a way that would force the joint back in, but I could not move, so no twisting for me. Normally a patient would need at least 2 treatment sessions and then while using his/her medication.

It was all God through me! Praise God, for in His wisdom, faithfulness and patience with me, He allowed me to do a small miracle on myself which, will hopefully lead to bigger things for others.

Last night I trusted God’s Word for my healing and I realised once again that I can trust God for everything in my life. God was faithful in such a small thing, how much more faithful will He not be in the bigger stuff in my life. The God I serve is ALIVE AND MIGHTY and He has given me and you the tools to live in victory but we do not use those tools and we end up being mud-plottering-christians. All because Satan has told the lie that you have to see in order to believe.

Fear vs Faith

Fear is the one thing that drives most people. Last year I listened to a radio show where Carol Singleton spoke about visions that she and other Christians all over the world had. In it God told them that a new season had arrived. It is the season for the restoration of families. If I have to put everything that I have learnt and saw in the last year together, I see this as the preparation for the last battle between the forces of darkness and light. God created the family in His image and He gave the family authority over everything. Satan knows this and that is why our families are under attack. The family is God’s government. God works through the family because the family is the bricks of His Kingdom and also of society in today’s life.  He will start to restore relationships in families like never before. It begins with you, the individual, not your family, the church or the government. God created us with a need to be part of a family, physical and/or spiritual family, but we have to change first before God can bring restoration in our families.  

God wants to build His House using the family, but our foundations needs to be strong. Fear, un-believe and un-forgiveness are the ways Satan uses to destroy our foundations. God in return uses trials to strengthen our foundations; God places you under pressure so that your foundation can turn from sand to precious stones. Stand still for a minute and look what your foundation is made off: sand, rocks or precious stones. Remember pressure on sand will turn sand into a precious stone. A friend of mine that walked with me through my trials last year said to me once that after every trial I go through God gives me a precious pearl. Every time I had to endure I came out of it with a precious lesson I learnt which changed some ugly part of me into a precious pearl. Isn’t it amazing how God uses the hurt Satan causes in our lives to make something beautiful?  I decided to work with God and in a way I think that helped speed up my transformation. I believe that if you work against God’s will for your live, you make life difficult for yourself and you waste precious time. In the end you will not be able to change God’s will for your life, you will still get to where you are supposed to be, the time it will take you to get there will just be a lot longer.

Isaiah 54:11-13 O you afflicted, storm-tossed and not comforted, behold I will set your stones in fair colors and lay your foundations with sapphires. And I will make your windows pinnacles of agates rubies, and your gates of carbuncles, and all your walls of precious stones. And all your children shall be disciples and great shall be the peace {and} undisturbed composure of your children.

God builds with precious stones, but Satan builds with sand (fear, un-believe and un-forgiveness). Every time there is a storm your house collapses. The minute you trust God, you are safe, because God wants you to prosper.  John 10:10 I came that they may have {and} enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). Un-believe= insecurity and fear. Just because you have made the choice to fear something, it doesn’t mean you are in control of the situation. God doesn’t speak through fear, so when you fear you will not be able to hear God’s voice. If it feels like you don’t do anything when you trust, know that that is where God wants you. He will do it for you. Also remember to believe in God doesn’t mean that you can take a risk on God. Get to a place where you do not need a sign from God, a place where you feel safe and have peace, despite your circumstances, knowing that God is in charged. “Peace destroys the authority that establishes chaos.” (Arthur Burke). Peace is a weapon that God gave us. It destroys the power that chaos has in our lives. When you fear you lose your authority in the spiritual realm and you lose your peace. Release what you have inside of you; that which is from God and the situation will submit to it.

The spirits that work with the spirit of fear are the deaf and dumb spirit and a spirit of bondage. The minute you fear, you can’t hear God and you can’t talk about the truth of God’s Word anymore and then you will start to feel in bondage. Satan doesn’t come with only one little spirit to you, he comes with an army. He will attack you in several different areas in your life and he comes in full force.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm [and} well-balanced mind {and} discipline {and} self-control.

The next time you fear, turn around and start to praise and worship God and see what that does to the fear you are feeling.

Jeremiah 15:19 Therefore thus says the Lord [to Jeremiah]: If you return {and give up this mistaken tone of distrust and despair], then I will give you a settled place of quiet {and} safety, and you will be my minister, and if you separate the precious from the vile [cleansing your own heart from unworthy and unwarranted suspicions concerning God’s faithfulness], you shall be my mouthpiece.

1 Peter 5:8 “the devil roams around like a lion roaring [in fierce hunger}” – trying to scare us. We have to overcome our fears. If we don’t we will become wounded bitter people who cannot forgive. You cannot have peace if there is bitterness and un-forgiveness in your heart. You will have to deal with your hurt and bitterness in order to gain peace.

God wants to build in you and build through you, but He can only do it if you have peace. God is the Prince of Peace. You must get to the point where you do not live in reaction to the people around you. Un-forgiveness and bitterness keep you in a place where you live in reaction to the people around you.

Isaiah 54:10 For though the mountains (it also speaks of places of authority) should depart and the hills be shaken {or} removed, yet My love {and} kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace {and} completeness be removed, says the Lord, Who has compassion on you.  

Keep your focus on God and not on what is going on around you. The minute you take your eyes and focus off God, you give Satan a chance to distract you with his lies.

The Issue of Discipline.

Things have been difficult for my children lately. They are in the middle of this war between my ex and I. I see it in their behaviour. They are hurting and confused. Last week my son’s play therapist told me that my son has told her that he doesn’t want to choose anymore. He has this aggressiveness in him lately and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Often he would be in a bad mood for no reason, sulking. He has started lying in an effort to please both my ex and I. We’ve had some serious talks about the fact that he lies and I can only pray that it has sunk in. I have stopped talking about my ex completely in an effort to put him at ease. After discussing it with his play therapist, I have decided that from now on if my son needs to do some activity on his father’s weekend, he must ask his dad himself. I will not allow myself to be in the middle of things anymore. If his dad promises him something and he doesn’t keep the promise there must be no misunderstanding about who’s to blame anymore. In the past when I have spoken to my ex about something that was promised to my son, I got accused of lying or he would just say he didn’t promise anything. Then he and I would be at each other’s throats again and my poor son would end up in the middle again. It is time my son start to figure out for himself what is going on. His dad being dishonest with him, doesn’t matter whether it’s just a white lie, is something I cannot protect him from anymore. I will not allow my own relationship with my son to go down the drain because I am trying to protect him from who his father is.

I have always been a firm believer that children need both parents to discipline them, especially when there is a young boy in the equation. It is just a fact that children need the strong hand of a dad when it comes to disciplining them. What to do when the father had walked out on his family? My home is still my children’s home, but now I am left to try and raise my children alone. Yes sure they see their father every second weekend and some nights during the week, but that doesn’t help me. At the end of the day they still spend most of their time with me. All is does is confuse the children, because now they have two sets of totally different rules and values.

In my house I try and teach them about God, we go to church every Sunday. In his house they don’t go to church, in fact it was said that they don’t have to go to church. The few times my son had asked his dad to take him to church, he was told that they don’t want to go to the same church I am going to. So now what do my children learn? I would like them to get to know God so that when they are ready they can decide for themselves if they want to continue a relationship with God or not. I want my children to know, based on their experiences, that we all need God in our lives. Their father is telling them with his actions that you don’t need or have to obey God in your life. It makes it difficult to install in my children the importance of having a relationship with God when their father tells them another story.

My ex is openly living and sleeping with his lover which makes it difficult to install in my children good moral values. How can I tell them that you shouldn’t sleep with someone if you are not married to that person, when their father says it is okay with his actions? How do I teach my children to respect the sanctity of marriage when their father didn’t and still doesn’t respect the sanctity of marriage? How do I teach my children to respect me when their father treats me with such disrespect in front of my children? I don’t even want to think about what gets said behind my back, but judging by their behaviour after they have been to his place I can only imagine. I have been warned not to badmouth their father as it will boomerang, so for all of you, who do make your ex bad in front of your children, stop it immediately. Your children will grow up and if your ex is really as bad as what you say, they will eventually figure it out themselves. Do not run the risk of destroying your relationship with your children, just so you can get your knife in as well. It is not always easy, but learn to shut your mouth when little ears are in the vicinity.

Sleep time is another problem. My children already go to sleep an hour later than normal. My ex insists they go sleep at 21h00 weekdays, but I don’t believe that. Not when I have seen with my own eyes him putting a movie on at 21h10 on a Wednesday night. How he can expect them to concentrate when they go sleep so late during the week only he will know. I however have no proof and therefore I will have to leave it at that.

I have started to curb my children’s time in front of the TV and PlayStation games as well. My ex tells me he does the same, but once again I find that hard to believe when all the children ever do is play games and watch movies. This coming from my children, I will again give him the benefit of the doubt.

If you are in the same situation as I am, the best you can do is be the best mother/father you can be, be consistent in your discipline and values, be a good example to your children, spend as much time as you can with them and love them to bits. Stop trying to be a father (in my case) and a psychologist. You will never know all the answers, you will never be perfect and you will never be able to protect your children against everything, all the time. I had to learn to allow God to look after my children when they are with my ex. A lot of the things my ex does I don’t agree with and 3 years ago he would have agreed with me on those matters. However he has to justify his actions and therefore we will not come to agree on certain things any more. If I have to sit here and worry about my children’s safety, physically, emotionally and spiritually, I will surely go nuts. My solution: To leave them in God’s hands. When I remember to do that I have peace. When I take over, my world starts to fall apart and bitterness and anger starts to become part of my life again.

For your own sake, forget about what’s going on when the children is with your ex and make the best of the time you have with them. In the long run your dedication to your believe system and values will pay off and will equip your children to be the well balanced adults I pray they will be one day.

 

Toxic People.

I have become aware of people with certain types of personality flaws over the past year that a person should try and avoid at all cost. Not because a person wants to be judgemental but because these types of people will pull you down and keep you down if they can. We all have some of these flaws to a certain degree as part of our personality, but some people are willing to look at themselves and change those flaws while other refuse to acknowledge that they even have these flaws and just won’t do anything about these negative and bad characteristics of their personalities.

First you get the arrogant-know-it-all’s. People who think the world revolve around their little lives and I say little because that is exactly what it is. They have reached 21 years and that is where they got stuck. They struggle through life looking for all the right things in all the wrong places. If they weren’t so blinded by their own importance maybe they would have figured it out by now. These are the people you can’t tell anything. They know a little about something, maybe due to work experience and now they think they know it all. Some of them had noble purposes in life, but because they choose to surround themselves with arrogant-know-it-all’s, it has rubbed off on them.  They don’t take criticism well at all, because that usually comes a little too close to the truth. Put a little money in the stew and suddenly they think they have the right as well to shunt people around. They like to demand instead of ask. No please and thank you for these people. I have no time for people like that.

You cannot talk to people like that. They won’t even consider your point of view, because they already know better. When they open their mouths they like to sound important. There is nothing more irritating than someone inflating himself and his own importance/knowledge. They often will take a situation/thought and twist and turn it until it suits their purpose, kind of take only what they want to make them look good or to justify what they do. Most of them will lie if it suites their purpose.  I think most of them are just little boys and girls trying to swim in the big old ocean, but sinking half of the time and because they already” know how to swim”, they won’t let you teach them. These are the people that will die one day and only their arrogant-know-it-all family will make the effort to be at their funeral. Despite all their efforts they will die one day without having made their mark in life.  We should feel sorry for people like that because despite their material wealth they are probably the poorest of poor.

Another type of person I want to avoid at all cost is the “Ja –broer” type. You get the plain and simple untrustworthy person. You know them, no secret about them. Then you get the person that will go through all the trouble of arranging something with you, agreeing to something or promising something, making all the right noises and at the last minute they back track with some stupid excuse that you can see coming from a mile is a lie. First time you might believe them, the second time you give them the benefit of the doubt and by the third time you’re just plain pissed off because you know they think you’re stupid enough to believe their bullshit and because they constantly waste your valuable time.  After that you should just accept its part of who they are and stop wasting your energy getting angry and your time trying to organise anything with them, you just pity them for being so ignorant that they think people don’t see right through them. These are the people that end up all alone because no one likes having a friend that’s no friend at all.  

Then there are the ticking-time-bombs. These people appear calm and collected, but oh boy they will explode at the slightest provocation. I say provocation with my tongue in my cheek. The one minute they will be smiling and the next they go off. Often over stuff that were their fault to begin with. They also can justify very well. Nothing is ever their fault. These are the people that will become abusive, physically and verbally, depending on their state of mind. Of course afterwards their violence was either your fault or a figment of your imagination. They will turn the situation around and make you the guilty one. In my opinion they are dangerous because you never know what will set them off. They are also dangerous because they can appear to be in control, but underneath they are a raging storm.

Another type to be avoided is the con-man. You never have disagreements with them because they never say anything to annoy you. They say what they think you want to hear. They sweet talk you into thinking they are your best buddy. They are basically just big fat liars. They will help you into the grave with a big fat smile on their face, making you feel good about your decent to hell. They know all the tricks in the book, only showing of them what they deem necessary to turn the situation in their favour. These people are selfish manipulators. They don’t care about anybody other than them self. It’s all about their needs.  If you are unfortunate enough to become friends with them, they will surely stab you in the back. Once you’re lying on the ground with the knife sticking out of your back, their ugly true persona usually shows itself. That will be a good time to kick oneself on the butt for being so stupid to be conned by them. A lesson learnt never to be forgotten again. Trouble with these people are that they are so good at what they do, having made it their mission in life to go through life riding on the backs of others, that the chances of running into one of them again and not knowing it is always a possibility. You also run the risk of becoming a cynic after becoming one of their victims. Do not let a few despicable people make you lose your trust in human beings as a rule.

Then there is the never-get-of-their-butt type. Some of these people just don’t have any vision or goal for their lives. The other side of the coin is the just-too-lazy-to-do-anything people. They want it all, but they want it the easy way, riding on the backs of other people. If you have to deal with these people you can be sure that sooner or later you will be labelled a nag. They will put of things until you eventually just give up and let it go. They don’t believe in the satisfaction of doing something for themselves. They cannot fathom the idea of working your butt off and at the end of the day standing back and experiencing the pride of having achieved something by yourself. It’s a completely foreign concept to them. They usually get something for nothing and eventually have the attitude that the world owes them. They are lazy people that will use people without feeling a twinge of quilt about it. On their own they will never achieve anything of value.

Negative people are also to be avoided. They will pull you down into their own pit of pessimism, negativity and depression. I’m not talking about people with real depression now, although these people can quite easily turn YOU into a totally depressed person. They have no hope and no faith. They complain about everything. They do not appreciate anything. They usually don’t believe in anything. They are the type that will build a home under their home, stashing it with food for just in case war breaks up. They don’t see the beauty in anything. For them the glass is always half empty. Do not let these people take the sunshine out of your day.

Then there are the professional- critics/judges. Everything you do or say is wrong. You will never be able to satisfy them. I think they are so judgemental because they feel so insecure. Don’t even try and satisfy them, because you will end up losing your own confidence. Any criticism from someone else is seen as a direct attack on them, doesn’t matter that it might be positive criticism. They will never be able to better themselves because they are so tuned into your mistakes that they cannot see their own mistakes.

Do not let other people’s attitude towards humanity and life in general, define who you are, define who and what you are yourself and live life to the fullest.

 

 

Battle of the Mind.

The last couple of weeks I have become aware of just a little bit of bitterness creeping into my life again. Something I want to avoid at all cost, because I know what bitterness can do to a person’s peace of mind. I sat down over the weekend and had a long hard look at what was going on in my life lately. I came to the conclusion that I have been “eating” a lot of garbage lately.

You see the battle between good and evil has everything to do with your mind. What you think is what you feel is what you do. Proverbs 23:7 “For as he (a person) thinks in his heart, so is he.” Your mind is the forerunner of your actions. The devil uses lies to corrupt your mind and therefore your actions. However he is very clever in how he does it. He begins with small nagging thought, suspicions, doubt, fears, reasonings and theories. He moves slowly. He knows our weaknesses and our fears. The Bible says that the weapons of our warfare are not physical, but spiritual (2Corinthians 10:4-5). Satan builds “strongholds” in our minds. Strongholds are areas in our lives in which we are held in bondage due to wrong patterns of thinking.

 

Let me give you an example: (From Battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer)

Mary and John are having marital problems. They are both angry and resentful. The tension in the house affects everyone, including their children. The problem is Mary is bossy – she doesn’t know how to let John be the head of the house. She makes all the decisions, handles the finances and disciplines the kids. She is independent, demanding and a nag. Mary knows that her attitude is wrong, but she doesn’t know how to change it. She has strongholds in her mind she doesn’t even know about. She knows she shouldn’t be rebellious, bossy, nagging, ectr, but she doesn’t know how to change her nature. She cannot control her actions, because she doesn’t control her thoughts. Satan started with his deception just before she got married. Mary was an extremely shy child and found it very difficult to make friends. She also had a serious relationship before she met John. It ended after her boyfriend cheated on her. He also couldn’t get serious about a job and as a result wasn’t a good provider. By the time she met John she’s been brain-washed with lies like: Men can’t provide for you. You will never be able to keep a man. They are all unreliable cheaters. They will hurt you. You have to take control of your own destiny.” As a result Mary promised herself that no man will use her again and that she will not be dependent on any man. Even if she wanted to be a sweet adorable submissive wife, she couldn’t, because her thoughts determined her actions.

John also had lies told to him. He should take up his position as head of the family. He knows he should not allow his wife to run the household, finances, children and himself, but he doesn’t do anything about it except feel defeated and retreat into TV and sports. John is hiding from his responsibility because he hates confrontation. He prefers to take a passive attitude. Just like Mary John had been lied to by Satan. As a young boy he often experienced physical and emotional abuse by his mother. He tried desperately to gain her approval but it was never enough. She often told him that he will amount to nothing or won’t make it. He also was a loner at school, having experienced some rejection from some kids at school. This is normal, but for John it was worse because of the rejection he experienced at home. Just before he met Mary he also experienced rejection from a girl he loved very much. By the time he met Mary he had thoughts in his mind that went like this: It’s no use telling people how you feel, they won’t listen. If you want people to accept you, go along with whatever they want. He had no courage to be anything but shy and withdrawn, avoiding making waves at all cost. The few times he tried to stand his ground, it seemed that he always ended up losing, so he decided confrontation just wasn’t worth the effort. 

Will John and Mary make it? It depends on whether they can recognise the strongholds in their lives and deal with it. It is vital that you get your thoughts in line with God’s Word. If we think fleshly thoughts, wrong thoughts, negative thoughts, our lives will be negative. It is so important that you start thinking about what you think. You have to allow God to change your thinking patterns. This is a slow process and not always easy, but it is so worth it in the end. Don’t ever give up and NEVER lose hope, if you do your life will truly be miserable. That is the difference between someone who has a relationship with God and someone who doesn’t. The one is miserable and HOPELESS; the other is miserable but always has hope. Why is it a slow process? To stop us from becoming proud, thinking that we know it all. This is truly a gift from God and not something you can EVER achieve by yourself.

The Bible tells us to meditate on the Word, to fill our minds with good and pure thoughts. At this point I want to stress that right thinking has nothing to do with salvation. Salvation is based solely on the blood of Jesus. A lot people will be saved, but will never have lived their lives in victory.
 

  

My life was almost an exact replica of Mary’s, if I didn’t know better I would have thought she was talking about me. I heard the word stronghold for the first time when I started counselling at the church and suddenly it all made sense. Unfortunately for me it was too late. For the first time I understood why I couldn’t change my personality. With the help of some wonderful people I started breaking down these strongholds. It wasn’t easy and yes there were times when I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. I can honestly say as long as I kept clinging to God (and sometimes it was clinging for dear life), I always had hope. Doesn’t matter how bad things got, I always had hope. I had to learn how to have a relationship with God, how to stay obedient to God’s Word and how to trust Him and let go when all I wanted to do was take matters in my own hands. At this point in my life I seldom feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling. This afternoon a simple thing like asking God to let the wind calm down was answered. My finances are completely in God’s hands and oh what capable hands. I have been blessed beyond words, not once in the last year have I not been able to fulfil my financial obligations, doesn’t matter how bleak things looked at times. Every time I asked God for more work, I got it. When I have asked for guidance and wisdom where my children were concerned, I got it.

And I am never WITHOUT HOPE anymore. This last year started of pretty hopeless, but that all have changed. Living with hope, makes everything I have gone through worth it. Having peace makes everything I went through worth it. Having God looking after my needs, never ever having to worry about where my food, money, ectr will come from, makes everything worth it. GOD MAKES LIVING WORTH IT!!!!!

Are you having problems in a relationship? Do not close your eyes and continue to live in denial. Let go of your pride and admit that you have a problem. Go speak to someone and start to break down these strongholds. It will change your live forever. I cannot wait to meet the man God has chosen for me. I cannot wait to start a new marriage without strongholds keeping me in bondage. I cannot wait to be the wife I was made to be.